The Starbucks Oracle

BruddahBob sent me a link to the Oracle of Starbucks.             

You enter the drink you order at Starbucks, size included. 

First I enter “tall skim latte.”  It told me I am a fat, whiny bitch. 

Then I enter my summer drink – “tall Dolce de Leche Frapucino.”   

So now, I am high maintenance.  


A fat, whiny, high maintenance bitch.

I think I’ll take Mildred over the Oracle of Starbucks thank you.


20 responses to “The Starbucks Oracle

  1. You are a fat, whiny, high maintenance bitch, I’m a clueless stripper. That site is rude. And has absolutely no taste. At all.

  2. LOL. Husband came up as a clueless stripper too.

    Yes this is a rude as hell Oracle.

  3. I’m lame and boring. “Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you’d like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren’t sure if you’re ready for that level of excitement. “

  4. LOL – that level of excitement!

  5. “Men want to be with you and women just want to be you, you are fabulous and enticing, charm and wit like yours cannot be summed up by the Oracle.”

    I do not know what is wrong with the rest of you people. Sheesh.

  6. Max, is your typical order “Oral sex with the barista”?

  7. It depends. Show me the barista and I will let you know.

  8. For the record, the oracle says I am a clueless stripper who drinks Grande Mochas. This did not offend me so much, it was the “also found drinking wine coolers” that sent me into a rage.

  9. “Wine coolers” is total fight talk.

  10. Stripper didn’t offend me either, Aj. It was the “clueless” part that got me. Clueless? Who the hell do they think they are?

  11. aj – husband, the wine fanantic, got the same thing. I told him about the clueless stripper part, but could not dare tell him about the wine coolers, lol.

    Lol, Sophia, we all know you are not clueless!

  12. the oracle bitch says I am a hippie and that I probably live in California and have changed my sexual orientation a few times this year.
    Oh, and that I should be forced to eat a cheeseburger at McDonald’s.

  13. Yay you are back safe!

    [you transexual hippie you, LOL]

  14. Kit, what is it really you usually order when at Starbucks? I’m so curious to know.

  15. Say, has anyone ever seen the Oracle and Susan in the same room together?

  16. I’m thinking Kit must order the Chai tea or something of that ilk.

    Maybe Susan is the Oracle in disguise – but she was real nice to you Max

  17. I get the double shot tall soy latte. I think the soy is the part that got me into the hippy gang.

  18. oh yes the soy would do it – the skim is what got me into the “fat” league.

  19. Nobody really believes the oracle told me that right?

  20. Course not – unless you ordered what BruddahBob said…but I do not think that is on the menu last time I looked, sigh.

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