Wordplay

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For the writer in you. The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. My [blogless] friend Trudy sent me this. Here are some winners. [My favorite is #15]

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period

2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.  The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

5. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

6. Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.    

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is, like, sending off  all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.  

13. Glibido: All talk and no action

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance you perform just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.   

16. Beelzebug (n):  Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

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9 responses to “Wordplay

  1. Oh bozone is totally my favorite.

  2. Inoculatte is definately my favourite and I think maybe someone should patent this idea and work out how it can be achieved. I would buy.

  3. Yeah, I like those too. Sarchasm is cool too.

  4. Rochelle Smith

    These are great, Michele — thanks for posting them!

    Hope all is well with your writing and/or deadlines!

    your pal,

    Rochelle

  5. Hi Roch! Nice to hear from you. Still writing [not making deadlines though.]

    Hope all is well with you, too Roch.

  6. Foreplay and hipatitis cracked me up. Though now I’m trully confused as to how these words are originally written. God bless Mr. Webster.

  7. Hi Soph – welcome back!

  8. I, myself, am enamoured of the Dopeler effect. It makes me giggle. And then giggle some more.

    Nice blog yourself there lady!

  9. Yes, Sulya, Dopeler affect is choice.

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